For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to harvest, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build up, a time to cry and a time to laugh, a time to grieve and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones, a time to embrace and a time to turn away, a time to search and a time to quit searching, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be quiet and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
How true this is. Verse 11 says, "Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end." I think that this is the hardest part to wrap my head around. The idea that there is a final plan already set up and determined for my life but I can only see what's behind me and what I am in the middle of. Its hard to push forward sometimes with the unknown being just that...unknown. I worry sometimes that I am not paying close enough attention...that I am making a decision that doesn't follow God's plan...that I am not listening or not asking enough.
Now is a time for change. I have been very unhappy in a lot of things....feeling unchallenged and unfulfilled at my job, feeling frustrated and overwhelmed with finances. And these feelings have just been building and building. I fault no one. My happiness is no one's responsibility but my own. It is my decision, albeit not an easy, to allow people's dramatics and surly dispositions to affect my mood. Verse 12 says, "So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can." THAT I definitely need to work on!
I am starting my new job on Monday. It is with mixed emotions to be sure. I am excited and feel that this may provide more of a challenge and a feeling of worth or at least accomplishment for eight hours a day. I am sad because I will miss a number of people...both customer and some co-workers, that I will probably not stay in touch with even with the best of intentions. I am nervous about the change, because often it is easier to teeter on misery than to forge into the unknown. The other un-nerving thing for me is that this change will not only effect me, it will effect Jake. He will have to go to YMCA Kids Club before school Tuesday through Friday instead of just Tuesday and Wednesday. I hate to make him get up so early, but I know it won't hurt him. I know that I am not scarring him for life, and hopefully the earlier mornings will help us make better decisions about bedtimes (for ALL of us), and that will be a healthier change.
We have been making strides to become healthier all around. Besides my adventures with Weight Watchers, both Jake and Cameron need to have better role models from both me and Vince. One more benefit of my new job is that I will not have to work any weekends :-). Obviously, there is a chance that I might need to work one or so as needed for coverage, but my position requires me to be in touch with specialists offices which are only open during the day...during the week. Good for me! That means that I won't have to budget my time on Saturdays that I have to work to make sure that I feed kids as soon as I get home and tackle the laundry and/or any cleaning that needs to be done. It means that we can use those weekends to spend family time together...which cannot always mean in front of the TV. We have to get out of that habit, both for ourselves and for the kids! I was reading a blog on WW the other day and read about a geocaching app for the iphone. I think it sounds neat, so my goal is to try that out this weekend while we have Cameron and Ally. I have never done this before, and a lot of people mock it, but it kind of sounds fun...particularly for the kids...like a treasure hunt!
We also have plans for Saturday too. We made a plan for this year...one for the family. We have five people in the family, and twelve months in the year. So we took out two months that already had "family plans" scheduled - April (our trip to Pigeon Forge) and December. Then we took the remaining months and each of us were assigned two (our birthday month and our half birthday month). Each person is responsible for planning a "family event" for that month. Their event could be anything they wanted (within reason of course). We could go to the park for a picnic, we could go to a special place for dinner, we could take a hike, we could go camping, we could have a game night or a movie night, we could volunteer somewhere or do a community service project. The only stipulation was that Mom and Dad had to approve (mainly for the purpose of budget) and it had to involve the ENTIRE family. Cameron's month is January, so this weekend we are going bowling. I haven't been bowling in awhile and Jake has only ever been once (in real life - not including the Wii), so it should be fun! Allison has February and she has already asked me to scope out some volunteer activities that we could do as a family.
So...a time for change it is....in more ways than one. May God bless these changes and guide us on His path...even when we don't ask for directions!
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